The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson

Many of you’ve heard of this book, this is like the English literature in the 21st century. 

This is my 1.5th time reading this book since I stopped half way  previously and recently I needed some reminder of what I should give a fuck about - nothing (Jokes. Ha!). 

I’d say this book is an easy read because reading it is like having a consultation with Mark and you get confronted of what you should give less fucks about and that decision is on you. 'We must give a fuck about something,' as Mark writes. 'To not give a fuck about anything is still to give a fuck about something.' The question here is: 'What are you choosing to give a fuck about?'  

What we choose to give a fuck about is in fact what's worth to give a fuck about. To improve ourselves, we then have to choose better things to give a fuck about, regardless of people and matters. It's a matter of choice in life – we can't have both; we can't have everything.  

To be frank, I don't agree with ¼ of what Mark says in his book but that’s totally okay because everyone's life experience is different. There's no right or wrong - it’s a very subjective opinion based on one's life experience to define it in your own terms. 

Yet, I'll still recommend this book because whether you come across concepts that you agree with or not in it, it expands your perspective on how you see your own life and how you can deal with it where it takes you to touch on grounds that you might not have done so.  

One of favorite parts of the book is the importance of failure which involves pain.  

The society has brought us up in a way that if we fail, we have to be punished or criticised, especially when we're in school back in the days.  

As we enter adulthood, we learn to take failures or mistakes as lessons because that's the only way to cope with it. Often times, we failed at certain thing and we avoid doing it again because we know that's 'wrong' so we won't do it again. But it's in failure that we find improvement in life and in yourself, that failure is the way forward, where 'the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you've failed at something.'  

Meanwhile, pain is part of the process. We change after we experience pain - the hard way; that’s when we question our values and how we handle things in life. Even if you manage to avoid it by going to a different direction, at some point you'll fail again and fall hard that you'll land right in your face. 

Another good note to take away is that sometimes things are not our fault but they're still our responsibility to take care of things. As simple as Mark puts it, 'many people may be to blame for your unhappiness, but nobody is ever responsible for your unhappiness but you.' Some people leave you traumatising shit to deal with and bounce, for whatever reason why they do it consciously or unconsciously, it doesn't matter, especially they're not in your life anymore. It's now your responsibility to take care of all this shit, either you let it weigh on your shoulders, or you throw it away. Life goes on no matter what. Do you want to live with your chin up or down? Your choice.

Here, I'd add that whose 'fault' is also very subjective as I said about there's no right or wrong, because to me, you're wrong, and to you, I'm wrong; it's a never ending loop. You see it as your fault only when you realise it or when someone makes you realise it, vice versa; if neither happens, you'll never think that you're wrong or at fault. So, no matter those people realise that they make you feel shit or not, they can't and probably won’t do anything but only you can.  

Give it a read if you need a reminder of why you shouldn’t give a fuck: The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Manson 📚